Last week I co-facilitated a workshop with Elaine Hanzak (www.hanzak.com). It was about working with women with postnatal depression and we were training childrens’ centre staff. Elaine’s inspirational story of her descent into puerperal psychosis, the most severe form of postnatal depression, and her recovery formed the hub of the workshop. I was also able to make a valuable contribution as a health visitor and coach with a passion for the subject but also a sufferer myself. We both provided living examples of how people can recover from a mental illness and live full and fulfilling lives.

One thing that struck me during the day was the power of listening; that was the key skill we wanted to reinforce. How often do we say to someone “How are you?” and tend to get the response “Fine, thank you”. Our body language is likely to give the message that we do not really want to hear chapter and verse of someone’s health! So how powerful is it when someone touches you lightly on the arm, sensing that something may not be quite right, and says “But are you really”? That small gesture gives the individual permission to tell us their story in the certain knowledge that she is going to be heard.

It sounds simple but active listening is not easy .,. to be fully attentive to someone without letting our minds wonder is hard and takes a lot out of us but it is priceless to the person who is being listened to. It is a skill we need to value more highly and coaches and other professionals are highly skilled in the art. It makes such a difference to so many people particularly those who are suffering from postnatal depression, breast cancer, miscarriage, childlessness and the many other conditions that women experience.