Looking after ourselves emotionally at all times is important but when our health is compromised in any way it is even more crucial. I believe that whatever we experience it is all about loss; if a woman receives a diagnosis of breast cancer she will experience a range of emotions but at the heart will be loss. Her immediate fear may be that she will lose her life, then she may lose her breast. And then there’s the loss of her sexuality. Tied up within all of that could be loss of her anticipated future, health, maybe career .. the list is endless.

A woman who finds herself involuntarily childless will have lost her opportunity to be a mother and all the dreams that go with longing for a family. Often mothers suffering from postnatal depression will have experienced loss in some way; loss of the planned birth. For example I experienced loss having a Caesarian section and still feel loss at never having given birth “normally.” During pregnancy and before, we dream what being a mother is going to be like and when it isn’t .. there we have it, a loss again. Other traumatic life events have a similar impact; divorce, domestic abuse.

If there’s loss then there’s grief; each of us has to experience our own individual journey through it. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross identified five stages and knowing and understanding that this is a “normal” process makes it less scary:-

Denial: it’s not really happening
Anger: With themselves or others including those closest to them
Bargaining: With God or whatever the individual believes in
Depression: It’s natural to feel sadness, regret, fear & uncertainty
Acceptance: This may take a long time or be much quicker .. who knows?

What’s important if you are experiencing this is to share your feelings with someone close to you or to others, such as a life coach, someone who will listen.