There's two reasons for choosing this topic to blog about. The first was a question I was asked at my recent talk at the Wrexham Breast Cancer Support Group. A lady challenged me by asking me if she wanted to work with a life coach would she not choose someone who had shared her experience of suffering from breast cancer. My answer was "not necessarily". You can choose to work with someone who shares your experience; it might be breast cancer or it may be postnatal depression, miscarriage or involuntary childlessness. I believe and have written about it before that all of us who have been through any of these experiences have a shared sense of loss.

But more important than that is to choose someone who you can really connect with, someone who you can trust and feel safe with. A good coach will use his or her listening skills to get into the client's world because even though we may share similar stories our experience of them will always be different. We should never make assumptions and never think that we know. I think we all shrink from that phrase "I know exactly how you feel" .. because nobody in fact does!

The second reason I chose this topic was because I was recently contacted by the Lifecoach Directory asking if I would mention them in a blog. Using a directory such as this helps you find a coach and you can be sure that only bona fide coaches are listed there (www.lifecoach-directory.org.uk). You will also find what areas of coaching each coach works in and the area in which they live.

Recommendations are always good too but beware of the internet. Coaching is not yet professionally regulated so there is nothing to stop anyone calling themselves a life coach. So if you are thinking of working with a coach make sure they have got a qualification before engaging them. I have heard great claims made about what coaching can do and there is no doubt it is incredibly effective. but coaching does take time .. we even have neuroscientific proof of how it works now but maybe that will be the subject of another blog.

So let me end with a quote from the Lifecoach Directory website: "Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start frm now and make a brand new ending" (author unknown).