One of my favourite coaching questions is “What makes your heart sing?” Have you ever asked yourself that question and if you have did you listen to and act on the answer? In the answers to these questions you will begin to discover what fulfilment is for you.

I’m writing a book called “Journey to Chocolate” which describes my own journey to fulfilment, I shall soon be launching an online programme taking my clients on their journey to fulfilment. Fulfilment is mostly what I coach my clients about. I got curious .. I wanted to know more! The dictionary definition covers a range of activities: “carry out, bring to consummation, satisfy, comply with, ” but the ones that resonated for me were “completely happy and “developing one’s gifts and character to the full”. “A fulfilling life is a life of meaning, purpose, satisfaction” (Whitworth et al 2007). But fulfilment is not an intellectual exercise, it is an experience, it is a feeling of being in flow, when life feels easy. You will know that feeling for yourself, it’s indescribable. Try this exercise:-

“Think of a peak moment in your life, a time that was positive or profound on some level, think of a scene rather than a phase in life. And ask yourself the following questions:-
• What was happening?
• What was good about it?
• What did it give you?
• What made this experience special?
• How can you experience this again?
• What values were being honoured?”

Let me tell you a brief story of a client who I did that exercise with. She remembered climbing Mount Kilimanjaro and at the top having that feeling of being on top of the world. She was able to clarify her values of challenge, physical fitness and nature, all of which were being honoured on that occasion. From that short exercise she set herself a goal to climb another mountain and committed to regular walking and thus appreciating the nature around her. This in turn led her to feeling more fulfilled in her life.

So we can have fulfilment right now if we choose it. It’s about living our lives on purpose, knowing what it is that makes us happy, that allows us to connect and to contribute. If we can work this out we can make the right decisions for ourselves, decisions that help us get back on track when life events throw us off or act as a compass to keep us in balance. And that's where life coaching can really help.

Indeed fulfilment can be the outcome of an event such as redundancy, divorce, postnatal depression, breast cancer and other life events. Many people will talk about the gift in these events that gave them the opportunity to sit down and reappraise their lives.

Let me end this blog with two great quotes I have just found in a journal article that are intended to give you food for thought:-

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” (Mary Oliver)
“Most of us get to our graves with our music still within us” Oliver Wendell Holmes

A world where people lead lives that fulfil them would be a much happier world.

Reference: Whitworth L, Kimsey-House K, Kimsey-House H, Sandahl P (2007) Co-Active Coaching Davies-Black Publishing: Mountain View, California