Several months ago I agreed to become a trustee for a new national charity which launches on Saturday night in Huddersfield. I agreed because for many years I have been passionate about making a difference to women who suffer from, or have suffered from postnatal depression, and their families.

The Joe (Joanne) Bingley Memorial Foundation has been set up following the death last year of a new mother who tragically took her own life. Her husband Chris wants to see her legacy in creating systems where maternal mental health is considered as important as physical needs so that their daughter Emily Jane will be properly cared for when she becomes a mother.

These are the aims of the charity:-
• Raise awareness and de-stigmatise Postnatal Depression, by stimulating open discussion about the illness and its treatment.
• Provide access to information and support to mums, dads, partners, families, and friends affected by Postnatal Depression
• Support research to identify the causes of the increasing number of deaths due to Postnatal Depression, examine the key risks and issues that affect sufferers from Postnatal Depression, and what can be done to help them
• Ensure Medical Services follow appropriate standards and guidelines, and patients know what should be available to them
Joe Bingley would have been 40 years old this month so we decided to celebrate her life by launching her Foundation on Saturday night. It is to be a fun night at the Galpharm Stadium in Huddersfield with a Gangsters and Molls theme! This will be a great way to launch the charity and celebrate Joe’s life as she was someone who loved parties!

I am pleased to attach a copy of the first newsletter for the Foundation.
http://www.scribd.com/doc/47600918/JBMF-Newsletter

If you would like to receive future newsletters please let me know via ann@onthethreshold.co.uk and please tell people about us. The website for the charity is www.joebingleymemorialfoundation.org.uk

One of my favourite coaching questions is “What makes your heart sing?” Have you ever asked yourself that question and if you have did you listen to and act on the answer? In the answers to these questions you will begin to discover what fulfilment is for you.

I’m writing a book called “Journey to Chocolate” which describes my own journey to fulfilment, I shall soon be launching an online programme taking my clients on their journey to fulfilment. Fulfilment is mostly what I coach my clients about. I got curious .. I wanted to know more! The dictionary definition covers a range of activities: “carry out, bring to consummation, satisfy, comply with, ” but the ones that resonated for me were “completely happy and “developing one’s gifts and character to the full”. “A fulfilling life is a life of meaning, purpose, satisfaction” (Whitworth et al 2007). But fulfilment is not an intellectual exercise, it is an experience, it is a feeling of being in flow, when life feels easy. You will know that feeling for yourself, it’s indescribable. Try this exercise:-

“Think of a peak moment in your life, a time that was positive or profound on some level, think of a scene rather than a phase in life. And ask yourself the following questions:-
• What was happening?
• What was good about it?
• What did it give you?
• What made this experience special?
• How can you experience this again?
• What values were being honoured?”

Let me tell you a brief story of a client who I did that exercise with. She remembered climbing Mount Kilimanjaro and at the top having that feeling of being on top of the world. She was able to clarify her values of challenge, physical fitness and nature, all of which were being honoured on that occasion. From that short exercise she set herself a goal to climb another mountain and committed to regular walking and thus appreciating the nature around her. This in turn led her to feeling more fulfilled in her life.

So we can have fulfilment right now if we choose it. It’s about living our lives on purpose, knowing what it is that makes us happy, that allows us to connect and to contribute. If we can work this out we can make the right decisions for ourselves, decisions that help us get back on track when life events throw us off or act as a compass to keep us in balance. And that's where life coaching can really help.

Indeed fulfilment can be the outcome of an event such as redundancy, divorce, postnatal depression, breast cancer and other life events. Many people will talk about the gift in these events that gave them the opportunity to sit down and reappraise their lives.

Let me end this blog with two great quotes I have just found in a journal article that are intended to give you food for thought:-

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” (Mary Oliver)
“Most of us get to our graves with our music still within us” Oliver Wendell Holmes

A world where people lead lives that fulfil them would be a much happier world.

Reference: Whitworth L, Kimsey-House K, Kimsey-House H, Sandahl P (2007) Co-Active Coaching Davies-Black Publishing: Mountain View, California

Life coaching is about change but change is something we fear. We fear it because it’s different but at the same time different and scary can be exciting and how often do people use the phrases “Same Old”. Change is not easy and effective change does not necessarily come cheap. The first question I would ask of you then is are you ready to invest your hard earned cash in your life? After all it is the most precious thing you will ever have and it is the one thing that will stay with you all the time.

I really understand this because it took me so long to leave my “safe” job with its “safe” pension and “safe” salary. It was a good job and it had status. But in the end it wasn’t safe for me .. it impacted on my health. I took the huge decision to leave. This quote says it all I think: “And then the day came when the risk to remain tight as a bud was more painful than the risk to bloom” (Anais Nin).

Because that’s what it’s about, remaining tight and restricted in the same old way or allowing ourselves to flourish in some new and exciting way. But not everyone is ready for change. In 1994 James Prochaska write “Changing for good: A Revolutionary Six-Stage Program for Overcoming Bad Habits and Moving Your Life Positively Forward”. These are the stages in relation to change and seeking help from a life coach:-

• Pre-contemplation: Thinking about change but not ready to take action yet. Pondering on whether this is the right job for you, the right relationship or just knowing that life doesn’t feel right. Change can be even harder if your confidence has taken a bashing through having a family, going through divorce or redundancy or experiencing an illness such as postnatal depression but it’s not gone forever and you can get it back if you want to
• Contemplation: Definitely wanting to make change, is ready but has not taken any steps yet
• Preparation: Identifies a life coach, has had a free consultation, knows this is the right direction and has made the first appointment
• Action: Is working with a life coach and making changes
• Maintenance: Has made changes in behaviour for 6 months or more. Working with a life coach will help that behaviour become more entrenched.
• Termination: This applies to behaviour change such as giving up smoking when you feel confident that you will never light up again. I’m not sure that as far as your life is concerned the journey and the learning ever ends. But at this point you may touch base with your life coach less often.

And, in case you’re wondering, yes, I work with a life coach.

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